However, since Buddhists have been seriously practicing letting go of small self for two and half millenia--and because they've been practicing it wisely and effectively--it would be a real shame not to learn from them.
Below is a 'practice' from Jack Kornfield's book, The Wise Heart. Since Jack is an American, he mediates the language--gives our Western Sense of Self a little less vertigo.
I find it helpful to take the Buddhist teaching of No Self both seriously and with a grain a salt. As we begin to find and trust Presence in our selves, we will certainly discover that our 'Self' is not what we've thought all these years. We'll see a lot of misconceptions--which, thanks be to God, makes it a lot easier to take our tight old sense of self with a grain a salt as well.
I still prefer to name our best selves Big Self rather than No Self. In the end, however, both names point to the same reality, the same truth, the same experience of having so much more room for life and love. Obviously, that's what really matters.
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"To say there is a self is not true. To say there is no self
is not true. Then what is true?" —Ajahn Chah
The creation of self is a process that can be observed
moment to moment. It arises when we identify with some part of our experience
and call it “me” or “mine”: my body, my personality, my views, my things. We
can become mindful of the creation and dissolution of the sense of self. We can
see what it’s like when the identification with self is strong, when it is
weak, when it is absent.
Choose a day to study the sense of self. Every half hour
check in and notice how strong the sense of self is. At which times of day is
it strongest? In what roles/situations? How does it feel when self is strong?
How does the body feel? How do others respond to this strong sense of self?
What would happen in the same situation without a strong identification with
the self?
Notice when the clinging to self is mild or absent. Is it
reduced when you relax or when you prepare to sleep? How is it when you take
your role lightly? Let yourself experiment with caring but not taking things so
personally. Can you operate well when the sense of self is not strong or even
absent? Play with the sense of self. Notice what ideas, sensations, emotions
you hold most strongly and identify with. Which ones do you easily release and
let go? How about if you reverse it, release the strong ones and identify with
the weak ones?
Become mindful of the comparing mind. See how the sense of
self arises when we compare ourself with others. How does this form of self
feel when it is grasped? How is it when it is absent? Then notice what happens
when you are criticized. If someone insults or disparages you, notice the
strength of the sense of self. With strong identification you get anxious,
angry, upset. Without much identification you can laugh.
Finally, try this. Pretend there is no self. Let all
experience be like a movie or a dream, without grasping or taking it seriously.
See how it lightens the heart. Instead of being the star of your own movie,
pretend you are in the audience. Watch how all the players act, including
“yourself.” Relax without a sense of self
