In Gone With The Wind, Scarlet O'Hara famously says, "I can't think
about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that
tomorrow."
What is the 'That' we can't think about right now? And who is it, what part of 'me' or 'you' is always deciding what makes us crazy (or not) and when we'll get around to thinking about it?
Who is the Gatekeeper? Who is it that lets some thoughts in, keeps some thoughts out, and either makes time or not for attention?
One of the psalms says "I'd rather be a gatekeeper in God's house than live comfortably in the tents of the wicked." (Apparently, the wicked lived better than temple gatekeepers.)
I don't want to push the metaphor too far, but it's not much of a stretch to experience our own self, our own being, as a temple, a holy place, a place where God, where Being is.
One of the first jobs of mindfulness is learning how to be a decent gatekeeper. God's not interested in keeping the riffraff out of the Temple. And, as we began to witness and experience how limiting it is to live fragmented, un-whole lives, neither are we. We want each bit of our scattered selves to come in out of the rain
Jesus said, Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. We could inscribe those words on the gate. Or maybe they're already inscribed there--and our untrained gatekeeper selves have been so busy excluding worrisome 'stuff' to notice.
We have a lot of thoughts, memories, worries, pains that need a place to rest. Yet our gatekeepers often block their entry.
When I get still enough to notice, my gatekeeper self often seems to be 'me' as a boy. Younger than Scarlet, yet still overwhelmed by certain aspects of life. Scared because certain issues in life seemed too dangerous to let in. I didn't know what to do with them--so it just seemed 'best' or sometimes 'necessary' to keep them out.
Who trained me to do that? Nobody, I suppose. Fear, self-protection 'trained' me.
You? Who trained your gatekeeper self?
All of us, over time, need to retrain the gatekeeper. Let him see for himself there's Somebody inside that knows how to work with 'crazy.' Let her see and experience for herself the safe, sacred space where the weary and burdened begin to find rest.
(I hope to pick up this thread again soon)
