Most of us know the old Georgia folktale about Br'er Rabbit and the Tar Baby. Br'er Fox sets an ego trap for Br'er Rabbit. He makes a tar dummy we know as Tar Baby. When BR meets TB on the road he gets so frustrated that TB won't be sociable, won't reply at all when spoken to, that he punches him and gets stuck. Punches TB again and again and gets stucker and stucker and stucker.
Mindfulness meditation is all about cultivating wisdom, humor and experience enough to recognize and avoid--or at least get unstuck from--Tar Baby the many times we meet him on the road.
Uncle Remus's Tar Baby catches Br'er Rabbit by being mute. Our ego/small-self catches us with constant chatter.
Contrary to what a lot of folks think, mindfulness meditation isn't about cultivating silence. It's about cultivating awareness. It's about learning to 'use' the part of our brains where 'awareness' comes from in order to witness what's up with other parts of our brains.
I love honey on toast or in tea. But I hate the sticky mess that invariably accumulates around the family honey pot. When I imagine what Br'er Rabbit must have felt like with his hands and feet--and ultimately his nose and chin and eyebrows--all glommed up with Tar Baby, it gives me the heebie jeebies.
Life often blesses us with frustration enough from being stuck that we're ready to learn how to get unstuck. In meditation, by keeping a little focus on the breath and the rest on kind attention to what's going on inside us, we begin to see and see and see how Tar Baby works in our lives.
I can describe what it feels like to me, but the only way to test how Tar Baby works in you is to begin to notice his sticky self in your own brain.
As you begin to take time to pay attention, you'll likely soon begin to observe a stream of back and forth chatter in your head. Lots of 'advice' coming from 'somewhere.' Advice and commentary--warnings, self-praise, self-criticism, praise and criticism of people you know or you're with at the time...etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum. It's a loop (noun) that loops and loops (verb). It's a pattern that catches us over and over.
But over time, as we practice noticing what's going on, we slowly wise up and get convinced not to engage Tar Baby on his own terms. Over time we also learn how to free ourselves from Tar Baby after we have engaged him on his own terms.
It's a very simply concept. We take time to pay kind attention to our patterns of thinking and feeling. Then we invariably see/hear incessant chatter. Then realize that much of the habitual 'guidance' we get is out of date and out of tune with are growing selves. Just by noticing this looping chatter, Tar Baby's stickiness decreases.
At some point we also realize that after tuning in to these voices we can choose to tune out. This is not repression. These voices and who and what they represent are welcome at the table--they're just not allowed to dominate the conversation.
Like I said, the only way to test this is to try it. Be curious. Give it time. Get support from a good book and a local meditation or centering prayer group if one is available.
