Every day we
have lots of opportunity to be like a still forest pool. To slow down enough so
that the silt settles. To be still and know. To shift from our yang side over
to our yin side.
One of these
opportunities is in conversation, casual or otherwise. What’s it like to be
still in conversation?
Is it to say nothing? No.
Is it to say
less? Probably.
Is it to make others we talk to do most of the work? No.
Is it to
shift toward thinking about our part of the work differently? This can be very
helpful.
I don’t
think it’s possible for us to get a step by step guide to wise, helpful,
generous conversation. But it surely involves tapping into a ‘liking’ for other
people and an ‘interest’ in who they are and a ‘curiosity’ about how this
particular conversation might unfold.
Just like in
meditation, a lot of it will involve ‘letting go’ of our thoughts so we can ‘pay
attention’ to an ‘other.’ At heart it’s a very simple shift—it’s just we’re not
used to relating in this way so it feels hard and at first awkward.
Thomas
Aquinas, who spent most of his life developing theology, later in life made
this kind of shift. Later in life he described his deepest purpose like this,
With every
breath I extract God.
And my eyes
are a shop where I offer him to the world.
Eyes. Ears.
Mind. Heart.
Maybe we’re
not so much of a shop. Maybe we’re more like a clear forest pool. Or a way
station, a refuge, a sanctuary, a chair under an umbrella at the beach.
And sometimes
roles switch, and others will offer sanctuary to us.
