Time Will Tell

My daughter has been working hard for a couple months on getting financial aid and a loan in order to continue her education. But...bureaucracies can be a very sticky wicket. It's been one frustration after another. 

However, this past week she'd got it all done and was waiting as patiently as possible for a final decision. 

Thursday night we had supper together and watched an episode of The Forsyte Saga. Afterwards she checked her email and learned that she had not gotten the loan--apparently they would only approve me for the loan, not her. She already knew that I wasn't going to take out a loan. 

She's was devastated. She is soooooo ready to go back and finish her degree.

But as she read over the email again and again, she realized the language wasn't all that clear. We talked about the possibility of suspending judgment (and devastation) until the next day when she could go once again to Financial Aid and find out what was what.

Friday morning she told me she hadn't been able to sleep. She'd anguished all night long. She was so worried and so miserable.

There's a Zen parable that speaks to this very dynamic.

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Once upon the time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.

“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.

“You never can tell,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune saying, "This is such a tragedy!"

“Who can say?” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

“Time will tell,” said the farmer.

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Evolutionary necessity has given us minds that size up situations quickly, make judgments quickly, set a course of action quickly. But nothing has given us the ability to know the future. None of us is a prophet.

One of the great treasures of 'diving' (see yesterday's blog) is that diving down below the waves of our fast reactions shows us both how much we prophecy and how unhelpful it is to believe our prophecies. 

I've punished myself enough by borrowing tomorrow's trouble. At this stage of life, instead of borrowing I'm working hard to invest in tomorrow by doing my best to sow wise responses today.

Friday morning Ruth went one more time to the Financial Aid office. It was just another mistake. Everything was fine. She got the loan. She gets to go to back to school. She's over the moon. I'm so happy for her.

"How wonderful!"

“Time will tell,” says the farmer, the wise old sower of seeds.