Though he's not a 'God person' his findings are very consonant with major spiritual traditions--so much of what he values relates to how we can work with our small or false selves in order to live more fully in our Big or True Selves.
And like most spiritual traditions, his vision of the small (or evolutionary) self can be jarring.
Consider:
"The
consistent finding of psychological research is that we are fairly accurate in
our perceptions of others. It's our self-perceptions that are distorted because
we look at our selves in a rose-colored mirror.
We judge
others by their behavior, but we think we have special information about
ourselves--we know what we are "really like" inside, so we can easily
find ways to explain away our selfish acts and cling to the illusion that we
are better than others.
When
comparing ourselves to others, the general process is this: Frame the question
(unconsciously, automatically) so that the trait in question is related to a
self-perceived strength. Once you find a piece of evidence, once you have a
"make-sense" story, you are done. You can stop thinking and revel in
your self-esteem. It's no wonder, then, that in a study of 1 million American
high school students, 70 percent thought they were above average on leadership
ability, but only 2 percent thought they were below average (94 percent of
college professors think they do above average work!).
If the only
effect of these rampant esteem-inflating biases was to make people feel good
about themselves, they would not be a problem. In fact, evidence shows that
people who hold pervasive positive illusions about themselves, their abilities,
and their future prospects are mentally healthier, happier, and better liked
than people who lack such illusions. But such biases can make people feel that
they deserve more than they do, thereby setting the stage for endless disputes
with other people who feel equally over-entitled.
It just
seems plain as day, to the naive realist, that everyone is influenced by
ideology and self-interest. Except for me. I see things as they are.
If I could
nominate one candidate for "biggest obstacle to world peace and social
harmony," it would be naive realism, because it is so easily ratcheted up
from the individual to the group level: My group is right because we see things
as they are. Those who disagree are obviously biased by their religion, their
ideology, or their self-interest."
---
Seeing our small/false/habitual selves 'truly' hurts. It's...disappointing. Disorienting.
It's also necessary if we want to be happy, whole, wise and kind.
After reading this bit of his book, I found myself thinking about John Donne's poem (which follows). Whenever I catch a glimpse these days of my 'self' as "biggest obstacle to world peace and social harmony" I often smile (right after I grimace) and open up and turn toward wholeness--and do my best to welcome with open arms the process, the work, the Spirit that makes Us Whole.
---
Seeing our small/false/habitual selves 'truly' hurts. It's...disappointing. Disorienting.
It's also necessary if we want to be happy, whole, wise and kind.
After reading this bit of his book, I found myself thinking about John Donne's poem (which follows). Whenever I catch a glimpse these days of my 'self' as "biggest obstacle to world peace and social harmony" I often smile (right after I grimace) and open up and turn toward wholeness--and do my best to welcome with open arms the process, the work, the Spirit that makes Us Whole.
Batter
my heart, three-person'd God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,
Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy;
Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,
Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy;
Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me
